Mr. Nilu is terribly upset about the recent Shanti controversy. He feels that Shanti should have talked to him before she went to Asiad. This incident reminded Mr. Nilu about what happened in Nesiad (Nesapakkam Asiad) few years back. Mr. Nilu came last in the girls 200 meters race. Later the gender test revealed that Mr. Nilu is an eunuch. The organizers of Nesiad stripped his (her?) last position by stripping his(her) dawani (short saree) and the wig. Mr. Nilu stood there in shame after his breasts and sottai (baldness) were exposed to public. Mr. Nilu is also upset that the bleeding heart liberals, who are fighting for Shanti now, were keeping quiet because he was born in a brahmin family. Yesterday, he was seen wondering loud about how a non brahmin eunuch can be better than a brahmin eunuch.
Mission Accompolished 5: This week’s search term that brought people close to Mr. Nilu
December 21, 2006We all know how people reach the elusive Mr. Nilu using variety of search terms. Here is the recent one
girl with penis
We are happy that this story helps people reach Mr. Nilu.
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Mr. Nilu and fat girl
December 11, 2006There are speculations that Mr. Nilu’s romantic escapades with the fat lady has ended. It appears that the fat girl tried everything she could to get “I” out of Mr. Nilu’s life. But she didn’t succeed. She also heard rumors that Mr. Nilu might have had sexual encounters with the garbage disposal lady. It seems Mr. Nilu put oil over his bald head and rolled his head all over the garbage disposal lady. This infuriated the fat girl and she is seriously considering the option of endhing her relationship with Mr. Nilu. But sources from Mr. Nilu’s household claim that the fat lady’s demands are atrocious. It seems she wants Mr. Nilu to do the same on her. Sources from Mr. Nilu’s house point out that it is a very expensive proposition in this era of high oil prices. They say that Mr. Nilu will need atleast 10 litres of oil to do it on the fat lady. We are closely monitoring the developing story and we will update this space once we get more information.
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Flash News: Preliminary results from brain mapping studies
December 5, 2006The scientists have released their preliminary findings in a reputed yellow journal. They are totally confused after seeing Mr. Nilu’s mapped brain image (see below)
They couldn’t understand how the term “fucked” got into the mapped image. One group’s preliminary conclusion is that his brain is totally fucked up and it shows up in the mapped image. There is also a conflicting opinion, emerging from another group, which claims that his inability to satisfy his own sexual urge could have contributed to the above image. However, both the groups agree on the fact that Mr. Nilu imagination could be a culprit. Mr. Nilu is very upset that his blog doesn’t have many visitors. So he used to comment on his own blog with other people’s names. In fact, he even claims that people write to him regularly about various topics and ask his opinion on them. In reality, no one gives a damn about him. This has affected Mr. Nilu badly. The scientists are wondering if this could be the reason for the above mapped image (with word “fucked” on it).
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Mr. Nilu helps scientists prove a new theory
December 5, 2006Recently, researchers at Shastra University of Mesapotomia published a new theory on certain pre historic creatures. In this theory, they claimed that the length of the penis is inversely proportional to the hair in the head. They were desperately searching for some proof and we are proud to say that Mr. Nilu contributed to the success of their theory. The measurements made on Mr. Nilu’s Penis using screw gauge served as the data for the researchers. They had some difficulty in explaining the reason behind using screw gauge. But they attributed it to his miniscule penis size and his inability to screw any woman. The data on Mr. Nilu is given below
Penis size (Micrometer) Hair density (number of hair per sq mile)
0.001 150
0.002 120
0.003 100
0.004 40
0.005 30
0.006 20
0.007 10 (current value)
This data helped those scientists to establish their theory on pre historic creatures. However, the scientists are astonished at the exact match of the data from a man living in today’s world with a prehistoric creature (which lived several thousands years ago). The scientists are wondering whether Mr. Nilu’s brain capability will also be so primitive. They are going to perform some brain mapping studies to evaluate the nature of Mr. Nilu’s brain. While Mr. Nilu is busy cooperating with scientists, his followers are ecstatic over the fact that Mr. Nilu has a brain. They are celebrating this by removing sarees from the women at Nesapakkam (as Mr. Nilu doesn’t believe in distributing sarees to poor women). We are closely monitoring this developing story. We will update you as soon as the scientists release their results.
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Mission Accomplished 4: People looking for Mr. Nilu in Chennai
December 5, 2006It appears that some people are vigorously searching for Mr. Nilu. Check out the recent search term used to find Mr. Nilu
chennai eunuch
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