We spoke about how people discover Mr. Nilu through search engines, using terms other than the usual ones like Nilu, Nilakantan Rajaraman, etc. We call this Mission Accompolished Series. Today’s interesting search term is
naidu hall’s son
We will continue to mine data about Mr. Nilu and present it to the lesser mortals of the world at regular intervals. We have taken it upon ourself to etch Mr. Nilu’s name in the history (search history?) forever.
Leave a Comment » | 
Mission Accomplished | 
Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
We have just received the news that one woman (whose name has been withheld by police for her security) has lodged a complained against Mr. Nilu at the Nesapakkam police station. In her complaint, she has told that Mr. Nilu conned her to kick out her stupid husband and then asked her to give him her savings. It seems he had promised her that he will double her investments using his knowledge of probability theory. Later she found out that Mr. Nilu is playing a game with his cohorts, using the money she gave him. This has sent shockwaves inside the Niluker community. Mr. Nilu has outright rejected the complaint saying that she is doing it at the behest of left wing maniacs or some of the cartellians. He claims that he stole the money for the game from the hundi in their puja room. Emotions are running high among the Nilukers. They are threatening to wipe out left wing maniacs and cartellians from the planet. We are closely monitoring the situation and we will update you once we get new information.
Leave a Comment » | 
Life | 
Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
Yank their stupidity
Yo brothers, if you come across any married girl, tell her that her husband is stupid and beat him up. Thou shall then send her to me and I shall cleanse her with holy water (jollu).
Leave a Comment » | 
9 Commandments | 
Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
Mr. Nilu is releasing the 9 (?) commandments of Niluism to his followers (Nilukers) one by one. Here is the first one.
If you can’t debate ‘em, just Puke ‘em
If you can understand what the opponent says, try to have a debate with them. If it goes over the head, just puke on them.
Leave a Comment » | 9 Commandments | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
Our media team was checking our logs. We found that someone who searched for the following keywords landed on this site.
amavasai – october 2006
We can now happily say that Our Mission is Accompolished. But we will continue to serve the community further.
1 Comment | Mission Accomplished | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
“I”, the suspected gay partner of Mr. Nilu, reveals his identity to the public. Please check out this post for his identity. We were optimistic that “I” will reveal his identity one day. But, we never anticipated it to happen so fast. Now the fat lady with big nose can stop her “global” search and take on “I” in her quest for Mr. Nilu’s love. Even though the search saga of the fat lady with big nose is over, Mr. Nilu is still looking out for “the milkman” in the streets of Chennai. The whole world is waiting for his search to end. Will “the milkman” reveal himself like “I” or will it be a never ending saga for Mr. Nilu, is the biggest question in the minds of Nilukers and others.
Update: There are conflicting reports about whether he is the real “I” or not. Some of the Nilukers are alleging that it could be one of the left wing maniacs or cartellians who is disguising as “I”. Maybe the “global” search for “I” is not over yet. We are trying to find out how Mr. Nilu’s household reacts to “I”’s identity. We will update you as and when we get some more information.
Leave a Comment » | Life | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
It appears Mr. Nilu has a spy in his opposite gang. Through the spy, he came to know that his opponents are planning to do a Munnabhai type of stunt. To pre-empt them, Mr. Nilu has released the following press release to his followers (a.k.a. Nilukers).
Hey my dear Nilukers!! I apologize for the delay in the launch of Niluism. I have to postpone it because these liberals leaked about my sex life to the press and it has upset a “huge” person in my life. I am sure you know how difficult it is to console an upset normal sized person. Now multiply this difficulty by 15. The resulting difficulty is what I faced consoling the “huge” person in my life, who came to know about my gay life. I am pretty confident that it is a left wing attempt to tarnish my image in the society. Even though my penis was miniscule, I was on the verge of getting a big lady. The conspiracy hatched by bleeding heart liberals has put brakes on my efforts. I know these liberals are pessimistic in life. Even my chamchas can understand this. These pessimists are trying to spoil my optmistic outlook on life. You all Nilukers know about the problems in my life (if not, go and read this blog fully). In spite of my problems, I am trying to keep up the optimism in my life (in the true spirit of the right wing philosophy from which Niluism is derived). I also understand very well that all the Nilukers are selfish like me and they also consider it as optimistic quality (Isn’t it the prerequisite for being a Niluker?). Our optmisitic life is too much for these pessimists to handle and hence their attempts to tarnish my image. They are thinking that they can wipe out all the optimists in India by bumping me out. I am pretty confident that I can take on all the pessimists with help from other optimists like fellow Nilukers.
I have come to know about a conspiracy hatched by these pessimists. They are planning a Munnabhai-giri on me. They are planning to send a “Get Well Soon” postcard everytime I puke on others. They are planning to give publicity to this attack on me so that people will laugh at my discomfort.
Come On Nilukers, let us pre-empt them. I call on all the Nilukers to send me a “Get Well Soon” postcard whenever I puke at others. This way, their approach will not be novel and we can maintain our “optimism” in the society as lesser mortals will never realize the attack on me. Come On Nilukers, rush to the post office now and buy all the postcards available. Whenever I puke on others in the blog posts, send me the “Get Well Soon” cards. We will take the zing out of their novel operation and make sure that they don’t have any postcards to buy. Let this moment be the defining moment in our life before we launch Niluism. Come On Nilukers. Let this be the last episode of our crusade against pessimists.
Mr. Nilu’s ayaa came out of Nilugaon and gave us this press release. She refused to answer our questions. She refused to say whether Mr. Nilu is still talking on phone to the fat lady with big nose. We are closely observing the developments and we will update you once we get any other information from Nilugaon.
We just heard that some of the Nilukers also suspect the hand of Indian cartels in the leak episode. It appears Mr. Nilu believes it to be a left wing conspiracy than a cartel one.
7 Comments | Life | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
The press is camped out in a plot near Mr. Nilu’s house, aptly named as Nilugaon, due to the vast illiteracy and everlasting cannibalism present inside. We are waiting to hear from Mr. Nilu about his new philosophy called “Niluism”. In the mean time, we have got some inside scoop about what is happening at Nilugaon. It seems Mr. Nilu is constantly talking on phone to the fat lady with big nose. She is very upset about the reports of Mr. Nilu’s gay activity with someone called “I”. It appears she never thought that Mr. Nilu will be a gay. Her crush on Mr. Nilu got crushed when she came to know about Mr. Nilu’s gay partner, just known as “I”. She is using her global contacts to find out about “I”, who seems to be hiding in US waiting for an appropriate time to reveal himself. This confusion has led to the postponement of the Niluism Announcement. When the whole globe is searching for “I”, Mr. Nilu is still searching for the milkman, whom he thinks is his biological father. We are watching the activities at Nilugaon 24/7 to bring you the latest and hottest from Mr. Nilu’s house.
3 Comments | Life | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
We got a scoop that Mr. Nilu will announce a new philosophy called “Niluism”. It appears Mr. Nilu tried to follow different philosophies like Libertarianism, Nihilism, etc. He couldn’t reconcile with any of these philosophies and he feels that they are for lesser mortals. He was thinking deeply about his dilemma. Finally he decided that he will create his own philosophy that will suit his style. He is planning to officially announce his new philosophy next week. He discussed with his chamchas and decided to name the new philosophy as “Niluism”. The followers of this philosophy will be called as “Nilukers” derived from Nilu + Suckers. As a part of his new movement, he will deliver one gospel every week to Nilukers. We are keeping a close watch on the developments and we will update you as soon as we hear from Mr. Nilu or his close circles.
Mr. Nilu’s family got a shock of their life when the family astrologer told them that Mr. Nilu will turn out to be a gay during his Clemson years. Now the family circle is abuzz with questions on his sojourn into gayism. They are wondering if this will be the reason for his future failure in the qualifiers. There are many questions on who will be his gay partner when he goes to Clemson. There are many names floating around like Anand, Chandru, Vajpayee, Murali, etc. But our sources in the family told us that his gay partner will be someone who identifies himself as “I”.
Who is I?
This is the question on the people’s minds as they watch Mr. Nilu’s family going from one shock to another as the days pass by.
2 Comments | Future | Permalink
Posted by eunuchnilu
You are currently browsing the Nilakantan Rajaraman's Biography blog archives for October, 2006.
